It’s only been a week and I could give you so many stories of how I’ve witnessed others live out Christ or how I’ve seen Him in others. This story takes place about a week ago in East Harlem.
To give you a little bit of background on East Harlem it’s definitely an area with a lot of addiction, not that other locations don’t have that too, but with a methadone clinic right around the corner and as K2 spreads rapidly, it’s quite common in this location.
We start really early in the morning and cook the soup, prepare everything, pack the bus, and then head out to East Harlem. We arrived about five minutes before 10am, which is perfect because we are there from 10-2. Like always there were some people awaiting our arrival along the sidewalk. Often times some of them help us set up which is really cool to see. This time we also had lots of volunteers with us, so I was able to walk around and do what I love the most, which is to see how everyone’s doing and talk to several people. The first man I began to talk to was Kevin. It was actually his birthday, which is exciting, but he said he struggles with depression and he felt down. I was able to serve him in ways like getting him soup and something to drink, which made him pretty happy. Then there was Fred who was an older gentleman who kept grabbing my eye and I eventually got to talk with him. This was his first time here and so he asked what we were all about and I was able to tell him who we were and some of the reasons why we are out here. Fred really admired what we were doing and he himself was actually able to get connected with a resource that day. The cool part was, we got to know each other fairly well and we are both excited to talk again. The most memorable conversation I had was with the last guy I was able to talk to.
It was a very peaceful day in East Harlem, no fights, no overdoses, nothing in that genre happened and of course praise the Lord. It was actually right when we were packing up when I met Matthew. There’s always a few people who show up right at the end when we have just ran out of soup and everything else. It’s tough because you hate to tell people the bad news and this news is the exact thing that made Matthew very frustrated as he began to talk to another volunteer.
I looked over and I noticed a very frustrated, skinnier, white guy, whose hair was all slicked back and a little on edge as he kept raising his voice. At this moment God immediately put him on my heart and I went up to him and said in a calm voice
“Hey, my names Grant, what’s yours?’
“Matthew!” he says.
“Well how about we move over this way and talk for a while.”
We did and this is where Matthew began to raise his voice again and kept asking if we were really out of everything. I apologized and said we really were and continued to stay calm. From then on he started to explain to me how crappy it was to be living on the streets and some of the things he has faced. My heart grew heavier and heavier for this man right in front of me. I became a little teary eyed as he continued and then he says,
“Dude, literally a huge f_cking rat this big (stretches his arms about as big as a cat) crawled on me last night as I was trying to sleep! A f_cking rat man. I can’t even sleep, I have to keep one eye open…”
He kept going on and on and as he took a breath I spoke and told him I’d be pretty pissed off if a rat crawled on me too! I started to tell him I’ve never been through the same things he has, but I was there to tell him he doesn’t deserve what he’s been through. I think sometimes as we serve different people out on the streets some just need to hear that they don’t deserve what they have gone through or currently are. For them day after day of miss treatment becomes normal and it’s all you know.
There was another thing I believe Matthew needed to hear that day, that I loved him and how immense God’s love is for him. Again he kept talking with a lot of frustration and I stopped and asked if he would like a hug and after this embrace I placed my hand on his shoulder, looked into his eyes, and said, “I love you.”
As our time progressed he became calmer. Again I feel that some of the people God puts before us just need to hear those three words. Three words that are constantly spoken by God our Father, but can also make a heart turn sideways.
I LOVE YOU
A small amount of words, but an incredible amount of weight attached and the power to change lives.
During my conversation with Matthew I was teary eyed and as he left I really had to stand there for a bit because my heart was overflowing. I don’t cry often, but when I do it’s typically because of Jesus touching my heart. That day I saw Jesus in the eyes of Matthew and it brought me to tears. God allowed me to see with Jesus’ eyes and my heart ached for Matthew.
I’m currently reading “The Return of a Prodigal Son” by Henri Nouwen and he says, “There is no lust, greed, anger, resentment, jealousy, or vengeance in his lost children that has not caused immense grief to His heart.”
I believe Jesus was present that day in Matthew and also right next to me grieving with compassion just as I was. It’s not always easy, but I thank God for allowing me to see with Jesus’ eyes and truly break my heart for what breaks his.
