I Love You

        It’s only been a week and I could give you so many stories of how I’ve witnessed others live out Christ or how I’ve seen Him in others. This story takes place about a week ago in East Harlem.

To give you a little bit of background on East Harlem it’s definitely an area with a lot of addiction, not that other locations don’t have that too, but with a methadone clinic right around the corner and as K2 spreads rapidly, it’s quite common in this location. 

        We start really early in the morning and cook the soup, prepare everything, pack the bus, and then head out to East Harlem. We arrived about five minutes before 10am, which is perfect because we are there from 10-2. Like always there were some people awaiting our arrival along the sidewalk. Often times some of them help us set up which is really cool to see. This time we also had lots of volunteers with us, so I was able to walk around and do what I love the most, which is to see how everyone’s doing and talk to several people. The first man I began to talk to was Kevin. It was actually his birthday, which is exciting, but he said he struggles with depression and he felt down. I was able to serve him in ways like getting him soup and something to drink, which made him pretty happy. Then there was Fred who was an older gentleman who kept grabbing my eye and I eventually got to talk with him. This was his first time here and so he asked what we were all about and I was able to tell him who we were and some of the reasons why we are out here. Fred really admired what we were doing and he himself was actually able to get connected with a resource that day. The cool part was, we got to know each other fairly well and we are both excited to talk again. The most memorable conversation I had was with the last guy I was able to talk to.

It was a very peaceful day in East Harlem, no fights, no overdoses, nothing in that genre happened and of course praise the Lord. It was actually right when we were packing up when I met Matthew. There’s always a few people who show up right at the end when we have just ran out of soup and everything else. It’s tough because you hate to tell people the bad news and this news is the exact thing that made Matthew very frustrated as he began to talk to another volunteer. 

        I looked over and I noticed a very frustrated, skinnier, white guy, whose hair was all slicked back and a little on edge as he kept raising his voice. At this moment God immediately put him on my heart and I went up to him and said in a calm voice

“Hey, my names Grant, what’s yours?’

“Matthew!” he says.

“Well how about we move over this way and talk for a while.”

       We did and this is where Matthew began to raise his voice again and kept asking if we were really out of everything. I apologized and said we really were and continued to stay calm. From then on he started to explain to me how crappy it was to be living on the streets and some of the things he has faced. My heart grew heavier and heavier for this man right in front of me. I became a little teary eyed as he continued and then he says, 

       “Dude, literally a huge f_cking rat this big (stretches his arms about as big as a cat) crawled on me last night as I was trying to sleep! A f_cking rat man. I can’t even sleep, I have to keep one eye open…”

He kept going on and on and as he took a breath I spoke and told him I’d be pretty pissed off if a rat crawled on me too! I started to tell him I’ve never been through the same things he has, but I was there to tell him he doesn’t deserve what he’s been through. I think sometimes as we serve different people out on the streets some just need to hear that they don’t deserve what they have gone through or currently are. For them day after day of miss treatment becomes normal and it’s all you know.

There was another thing I believe Matthew needed to hear that day, that I loved him and how immense God’s love is for him.  Again he kept talking with a lot of frustration and I stopped and asked if he would like a hug and after this embrace I placed my hand on his shoulder, looked into his eyes, and said, “I love you.” 

        As our time progressed he became calmer. Again I feel that some of the people God puts before us just need to hear those three words. Three words that are constantly spoken by God our Father, but can also make a heart turn sideways. 

                                                              I  LOVE  YOU

A small amount of words, but an incredible amount of weight attached and the power to change lives.

         During my conversation with Matthew I was teary eyed and as he left I really had to stand there for a bit because my heart was overflowing. I don’t cry often, but when I do it’s typically because of Jesus touching my heart. That day I saw Jesus in the eyes of Matthew and it brought me to tears. God allowed me to see with Jesus’ eyes and my heart ached for Matthew. 

         I’m currently reading “The Return of a Prodigal Son” by Henri Nouwen and he says, “There is no lust, greed, anger, resentment, jealousy, or vengeance in his lost children that has not caused immense grief to His heart.” 

I believe Jesus was present that day in Matthew and also right next to me grieving with compassion just as I was. It’s not always easy, but I thank God for allowing me to see with Jesus’ eyes and truly break my heart for what breaks his.

Job and Grant

Recently I decided to read through the book of Job in the Bible since I've never really seen what it's all about. At camp on Fridays at lunch time they show this video to the middle school kids talking about suffering and the man ties it all back to Job and how he lost everything yet still praised God. There's also one of my good friends that I've gotten to know these past couple of months who actually has Job 1:21 tattooed on his right arm. So I decided to check it out.  

         On one of my two-hour breaks I began reading the book of Job and only read a few chapters because it really dives right into how Job suffered in his lifetime. He literally lost all of his servants, his livestock, his house, and all of his family. This news was given to him all in the same moment. Then it goes on to say “At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship.” Worship? I’m not sure if a lot of our responses would be to get on our knees to worship God after all of that. Yet he did and it says he did not sin during that whole period of time.

         So that’s about where I stopped reading that day, because it left me thinking about a lot. I started walking and I thought to myself, have I even had very many random trials in my life where I could still worship God regardless. Well I haven’t had anyone close to me die and I do struggle with different things temptation wise daily, but I haven’t had one of these tests in a long time… It wouldn’t be long until God answered that question for me.

         The next day I started my 24hr break at 10am and I was pretty excited, because I needed to rest and I also planned on getting some yummy food instead of camp food. Well when I went back to my cabin at 10am I slept for a little and then got up and decided to hand wash some of my clothes in this bucket that I’ve been using then hang them up to dry. (I decided to do this halfway through the summer so I can save some money instead of doing it in town) After that I took a shower considering it had been awhile and I thought it’d be a smart decision. Then I would head to staff parking where my friend Ryan had his car that he was letting me borrow. On my way into town is where everything starts to change.

         I headed east on 258 and came up to a road-closed sign and decided to go a little further to see how bad the flooding was, it was pretty bad and pretty cool looking, but I turned around. I remembered that I can turn at Cortland and go the back way through there. I started to go down that road when I cam across the first patch of flooding and honestly it wasn’t very deep and I was in a SUV so I went through and I made it. Then the next patch of water seemed a little deeper but very manageable. I started to go through it when all of a sudden my car begins to stop. My first reaction wasn’t the cleanest choices of words, but then I immediately thought, everything will be okay. I was in the middle of the stretch of water and thought well I’m stuck so I probably should call 911 because honestly I don’t know anyone around. This was my first time calling 911 and it was this nice lady who helped me and said they’d be there, but it would take a while.

Meanwhile water began coming through the bottom of the doors and started to fill the car. I decided to take off my shoes and then sit on my seat. At this point I decided why not get on the roof of the car where it’s most safe and try and read my Bible. As I was in the thinking process I noticed someone back down the road where the blue house is and a few people gathered and where talking. Next thing I know several cars were down there and it looked like they were going to save me. I still got on the roof and attempted to read but my mind was all over the place. I had Job on my mind and thought about how I’d like to talk to these people about Job. All of a sudden a red truck starts to back up through the water and it eventually gets close to the car and he tells me to hop on. So I throw my backpack and then jump on. I was barefoot because I left my shoes in the car and I was just sitting there as he got me out from the water.

 We arrived where everyone else was and I felt pretty embarrassed. I was like God do you really want me to talk to all of these people about Job? There was a younger family, two guys in a truck, and another truck with 5 or 6 people in it, Scott who saved me, and an older couple in a gator. Oh and there was this dog who immediately came over to me and I loved on him and he even sat for me. Honestly that dog made me feel more comfortable at the moment.

At that point I was awkwardly standing around as they all talked then I decided to go up to the truck with all the people and say

“ so is this the stupidest thing you’ve seen someone do?”

a bigger man in the back says “Well no, but you’re definitely in the family of stupid.”

We all laughed including myself. I told them how it wasn’t my car and they also laughed at that and I said everything will be okay and the lady said “Well that’s a first.” After a few more minutes everyone started to disperse and it was just Scott and I who were still standing there. Grant the barefooted, long red hair held back by a bandana, looking hippie next to a taller old man wearing, worn boots, jeans, and a mechanic shirt with his name sown right on it in big letters, SCOTT. We started talking and he told me not to worry about it because honestly he had saved 3 other people today. I started asking him questions about his life and also about his small town. He said his family had owned this property for the past 150 years, but now there’s more friends and family that own it. Scott himself owns a mechanic shop and has been running that for the past 25 years. After getting to know him a little bit I asked him

“Hey Scott do you go to church anywhere?”

He said “ Yea Cortland Christian Church, just right up the road.”

Then I went on to ask Scott  “Well have you ever read the book of Job in the Bible?”

He said it’s been a very long time and honestly it didn’t sound like he had at all. I went on to tell him about how Job had lost everything, all his servants and even his house and family, but how through all this he still worshipped God. I said you know it’s an inconvenience that my car, sorry my friend’s car is stuck in the water, but honestly it’s the least that could be happening to me right now. Scott didn’t say much, but I could tell he was intrigued. I guess I wouldn’t have to talk to everyone about Job after all; I just had a little conversation with Scott about it.

         Scott and I stood there for a while as we awaited the sheriff to arrive and he assured me it wouldn’t be to much longer. Once the officer arrived Scott talked to him for a bit, but then he started talking to me. He talked to me about towing, but said I didn’t have enough money on me. Then he went on to ask me where I needed to go and I said if anything Springhill. He said hop in, so I walked over still barefoot grabbed my bag then got in the front seat of a sheriff’s car…yikes.

         Here’s the thing I recently have started a prayer journal and on the first page there is a prayer that talks about not necessarily loving the police system, but for God to equip me to love the individual. Without realizing it until later, God answered my prayer. I put aside all the hate I have for the police, because of the way they have treated my friends and even myself and just tried to get to know the person in front of me. I began talking with Adam and asked a few questions about him and then he started asking questions about Springhill. I was able to tell him about what we do all summer and a little bit about how God works there. He actually ended up driving me all the way up to the lodge where my heart actually dropped for a second as I saw almost all of res-staff in their polo’s sitting there as I got out of a police car. Walking out barefoot I was like it’s not what it looks like I promise, It’s not what it looks like!! Pretty funny moment for sure.

But before I got out of the police I car I asked Adam if there was anything I could be praying for and he responded with “Yea my wife is pregnant.” I was just like whoa and I assumed that he was telling me this because I don’t know anyone he does and he said yes. Adam also told me that he hasn’t told anyone yet at all. (Also assuming you guys don’t know who this man is?) I told him I could definitely be praying for you and your wife.

         Well I’d like to end the story with my connection with Job there, but it continues. The day after I started to receive these gross sores that had crusty yellow stuff coming from them. It started off small but then it started to spread a ton by the next day. Soon enough I had theses sores all over my body, but mainly concentrated on my face and the back of my neck. On top of that I began to have blisters all over my palms, the bottom of my feet, and in my mouth/throat. At first I was fairly upset because I honestly had no idea what was going on and I was paranoid. Then later on I recognized that attitude and remembered Job once more. Yes I am feeling terrible right now, but still I must praise the name of the Lord.

The camp doctor actually ended up telling me I had hand, foot, mouth and he wasn’t sure about the sores so he put me on an antibiotic. I was already heading home the next day anyway so I got the medicine then. Soon enough I find out that it’ll take about a week to go away which means I’d miss this next week of camp. I wasn’t sure why God wouldn’t want me to work this week but I still trusted Him.

         As I was home I actually was looking at artist’s depictions of job when I saw one with Job covered in bumps and I was confused so I re-read the beginning. In Job 2:7 it actually says “So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord and afflicted Job with painful sores from the soles of his feet to the crown of his head.” At that moment it was sort of weird realizing this past week and realizing how much my life aligned with the story of Job.

         I never knew reading Job would lead to this experience and how God would teach me about suffering in such a real way. I actually ended up reading the rest of Job a week after I started it and it means so much to me now. There was a time after I was back at camp from getting stuck in the water where God put something on my mind. All I heard was Grant this was a test where you showed your faithfulness to me and worshipped me regardless and I also showed you my faithfulness by keeping you safe and alive. Oh and the weird part was that the car ended up being fine and working. I knew God was going to use me somehow as I went into Seymour, but I never would’ve guessed it involved me getting stuck in water and talking to one man about Job.

         Overall what I have learned from Job is that God is still there while you’re suffering even if He is silent. Also to continue to praise Him regardless even while you’re in the midst of pain and suffering, because He loves me always and will always be faithful to me.

Job and "Friends"

New York City

        I never really thought I'd be making a blog where I would be sharing stories of where God is calling me, what He's doing, and the people I meet in my life, but obviously I am. The main reason I am making one is for the next several months as I am living right outside New York City doing an internship with a ministry called New York City Relief. I would like to keep everyone updated from friends, family, and especially anyone who is supporting me on this journey.

For this first post I would like to share my support letter so you all can get an idea of what I will be doing starting in September. 

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

My life has changed ever since I had a conversation with a homeless man about three years ago. Ever since that day God has opened my eyes to a specific area of brokenness in the world and has given me a compassionate heart to suffer alongside the people who, at times, need it most. I have been serving as a volunteer at an organization called Circle City Relief, which meets the needs of a poorer community just north of Indianapolis. I have been apart of that program for around three years now. Along with that God has sent me out on the streets of Indianapolis where I have sat with many people who have hit the bottom or things just aren’t going so well. Whether it was a listening ear or offering them some food I was there because God has continued to call me to love “the least of these” just as it says in Matthew 25. This past April I was able to show this same love to people in New York City with The Relief Bus. It was here that I experienced God in a whole new way. I have heard so many stories that just make my heart ache, but it was here In NYC that God broke my heart for what breaks His. I remember in each location Harlem, Bronx, and a few others I had talked to one person that just broke my heart and most of the time brought me to tears. It was a reassuring trip of my call to love others with a compassionate heart.

So after the hundreds of hugs, talks with strangers, and listening to stories I have once again been called by God to take a step out into the world. At this moment in my life I believe God has called me to go do an internship at NYC Relief Bus after high school for 6 months. This decision in no way, shape, or form came over night, as I spent lots of time in discernment and seeking advice from others as well.

The Relief Bus is an organization based out of New Jersey, and four days a week they load up buses with soup, bread, clothing, and hygiene items to then drive into New York City to love and serve the low-income and homeless families. The bus also has info and resources to help people get into shelters, detox centers, and even jobs. I would be working alongside the employees at The Relief Bus and learning a lot about ministry and how to effectively love others.

My time spent with The Relief Bus I hope to gain leadership skills, see the ins and outs of outreach in NYC, and grow further in my relationship with God. I understand that I have lots of room for learning about outreach and I can’t wait to learn from the incredible people at the Relief Bus. I hope to learn how to be more effective as a leader and better understand the ways I interact with the people that I will encounter. I also want to learn how to effectively assist someone who is hurting while realizing that the decision to change must be made personally. I understand that I have lots of room for learning about outreach and I can’t wait to learn from the incredible people at the Relief Bus.

I am asking you to join me in this journey. The internship is unpaid, and there are some basic expenses that I have to cover in order to be able to participate (housing, transportation, trip insurance, etc.). I am asking you to come along side me in prayer, finances, or both. I am not naive enough to think that I can do this on my own, and I know with your support, in whatever way you choose to give, we can spread the love of God to the broken places of the world.

If you would like to support me financially, I can provide the link to where you can give a donation that is tax deductible. I can send the link via email or whatever way is convenient for you. Also if you would like to further know my story and what I’ll be doing in NYC starting at the beginning of September 2015 feel free to contact me at either my email or phone below. I’d love to set up a meeting with you and answer any questions you may have.

Email: gruntlewandowski@yahoo.com

Or

Phone: (317)-517-7369

Peace and Love,

Grant Lewandowski

If you are interested in supporting me in this journey you can give here at this link: 

https://moderndayoutreach.ministrygive.com/client/index.php

More information on New York City Relief:

http://www.reliefbus.org/about.php